Southgate was a complete meltdown. Of all the stores in the mall, only one possessed a single visor…Nike? That plain, black carpet fuzz of a visor was as sad as the entire shopping complex! But, it was then that I had a stroke of genius – yes…it happens. Anyway, some Golf players must wear visors, so the Sears Golf section must offer some head gear! Sadly, when we arrived at the Golf end of Sears I realised that Golf players who shop at Sears alone do not wear head gear. Insane!
We fled the mall and descended upon Whyte Ave.
Yes…I go there.
Anyhow, we went to divine, headcase, Army & Navy, and a bunch of other stores. The result? There were a couple of visors, but none of them were satisfactory. Hello…Capitalism? What the hell do you do when you offer money for a product you cannot find locally? Is it time to bring out the ak-47s, round up the locals, and force them to build a sweat shop in which they will toil in for the rest of their lives? Non! It is time to apply uncomfortable pressure upon the fashion industry!
Visors. Bring them back, I want them. I went away looking for them and there was not a single store that offered quality, colorful visors. A scandal! This is the 21st century! Lets see some of that sci-fi action put to the test! You fashion bosses made a serious mistake in judgement when you exiled the visor. This practical, noble product must be brought back to sting its oppressors to submission so that they will never forget its awesome, unrelenting force.
Must…mobilise…sweat shop…NON! Drive-by…maybe.