After roughly three decades of neglect (maybe even longer!) the carpets of the house are finally getting cleaned…by me (>.<). The mission was handed down to me the moment the carpet cleaner was purchased. Initially, I thought I would assemble the cleaner, remove the furniture, clean the carpet, and be done by tea time. Clearly, this timetable I had in mind reveals how truly naive I am. Sweep after sweep the carpet produced what seemed to be a neverending supply of dark, coffee-like dirt. By evening I was tempted to find a knife, cut the carpet out into squares, and replace the whole floor with hard wood tile. But, seeing as how I was not there to destroy the carpet, that option was not available…yet.