With a couple of dogs running around the house more frequently than having no dogs to begin with, anti-bacterial products seem a little more useful than before. To discover another dog’s worth of hair jammed into the dust bag of the vacuum cleaner makes me wonder what else have my dogs unleashed. But, while I was walking through the cold, brightly lit aisles of Staples, I stumbled upon the oddest pen. It’s called the FlexGrip Elite, a Papermate pen that does look a tad inconspicuous save for the large sticker: ‘with Anti-Bacterial Pen Protection.’ I must have scanned the entire package for what seemed to be a few more moments while I tried to grasp why such a terrible pen existed.
Certainly people would like to be neat and orderly while going about their business, I can understand that. But, unless I so happened to drop my pen into an aquarium or a pile of poop, I don’t think the cleanliness of my writing utensil is going to be a high priority. Most pens come by the dozen so if you don’t like where one has been and you aren’t particularly attached to it, the act of replacing that one pen is simple. If so much concern can be mustered for the cleanliness of a pen, perhaps some more attention is needed for the hands. Why not buy some of that Purell Instant Hand Sanitizer? Just rub that stuff on your pen while you’re at it.
Also, I’m not quite sure how the anti-bacterial feature for a pen is supposed to work, but I have seen anti-bacterial dishwashing gloves in action. If you ever have the fortune of sticking a brand new pair of these gloves into an aquarium you can tell something’s sloughing off the rubber surface. I don’t think that’s much fun if the same were to happen with an anti-bacterial pen. But, even if the anti-bacterial pen does not ‘slough’, bacteria is already everywhere. What’s the point of having an anti-bacterial pen if, for instance, my own immune system cannot handle the bacteria? Then I’d be thinking about more serious matters rather than how clean my damn pen is. I’d probably want to use it to write out a quick will somewhere on my body or a piece of paper. I’d probably jot something like ‘Avenge me!’ So long as the pen can write that down we’re fine, right?